i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
