Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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