I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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