one two three fourrrrnication!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
