Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
