Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
