i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
