Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
