Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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