she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize