If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
