That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
