Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
