so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
