just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
