you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
