i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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