matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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