Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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