What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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