I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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