she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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