Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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