i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
