the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
