New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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