Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
