Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Randomize
