I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
