i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
