i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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