the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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