Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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