hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
