I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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