Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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