You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
