Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I am morally bankrupt
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she pinky promised me she was 18
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
