I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
