I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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