I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
