Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
