The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
