I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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