I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
