Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
