i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
