sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
