Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
