My brain says no but my pants say off.
Say something about gay babies.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
