dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
