so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
