Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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