I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
