Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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