so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We named our party play list daddy issues
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
