that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
