did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
