I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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