I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
