ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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